well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize