I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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