But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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