dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
