So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
