Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
