i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
