Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
