I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
