Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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