found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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