Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
