bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
