Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
