Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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