we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
