i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
