so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
