fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
tell me about the eggs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
