just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
