A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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