Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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