is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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