You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
