Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
