They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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