We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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