That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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