At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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