is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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