Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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