you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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