i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
