I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
