remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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