There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
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I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize