girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
