JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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