Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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