I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize