You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
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