There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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