she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
