GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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