Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
