Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
