i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
