Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
