My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
