Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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