So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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