Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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