why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
