I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
