is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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