Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?

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(214): View more from Texas

well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.

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(760): View more from California

don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah

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(770): View more from Georgia

Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

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(631): View more from New York

She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE

(1-631): View more from New York

I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU

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(440): View more from Ohio

Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.

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