Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
