Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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